How to answer "no"
To you requested. For various reasons, it did not want to perform. For example, the obvious futility of undertaking friend. Or ask a thing, and you have a serious concern that its return on time or damage.
"No" How do I answer correctly? Yes, so as not to undermine its own interests and not to quarrel?
First, you need to firmly remember - you do not owe anyone anything. And if at the time for you to do something, the debt must be returned at the first opportunity. That is not pulled neck load.
Because the answer "no" means to take a concrete decision. As you know, any solution does best in a relaxed and free state. A manipulator is not influenced.
One of the main causes of fear to answer 'no' - a sense of guilt. Do you consider yourself a "good". And struggled to match the created image! Although it requires a lot of effort.
So, it is difficult to say "no" when asked to borrow money. Even if it is a request to the detriment of what has long wanted to buy. Created image does not allow to "offend" the seller in the shop and forced to buy, in general, unnecessary thing. And in no other way! Because the answer "no" means to become guilty. After all, you play the role of "good"!
How to be? The most natural and effective behavior - not be "bad" or "good". And in any situation, be yourself. Without following any patterns of behavior. Only then the question "how to answer - yes or no" does not turn into a problem with many unknowns.
Before making a concrete decision - to respond to the request of "yes" or "no" - carefully weigh what will be more useful to you personally. And how to say "no", you will learn from the recommendations below.
Remember and apply the rule of "anticipate - means to manage." Choose from the resources that you have, the ones that can serve as sources of the requests. And ahead of time, start to create and fertilize the soil regularly in order to make it easier to answer "no." That is, think of a weighty excuse, which can be, do not hesitate to apply. You have the trailer to the car and will request another bothersome neighbors something they bring? More often grumble at "weak bearing."
Not bad to say "think-see." That is, simply pull the time. Often, the problem will disappear by itself - there is a need in someone else, more "a smart".
Another effective rule that always works - agrees to help, but on unfavorable terms. From which guaranteed refuses to "begging" side.
You offer to pull the baby friends in school subjects, and you are very busy and do not want to? Explain about his workload, but please offer. A training time assign to eleven-thirty at night. That's right - you're busy, but do not give up!
Another example. Annoying neighbor endlessly "shoots" silver coins or steward. Lie, there is no money - too weak argument. I still do not believe and be offended. It will be appropriate to begin to answer that there is no small bills. It's much more productively and more efficiently!
If you have to lie to you, do it right, that is, perfectly. You have asked for a loan? Say that this month you need to make the next payment on the loan for the food processor. That's right, with the processor should really be bought on credit. Another thing is that the entire amount paid before last month ...
If you realize that you need to give up, it is better to do it immediately. Since it does not give rise to illusions and false hopes. After all, even the most terrible diagnosis to the patient immediately reported.
If you asked, answer only for myself. And in any case do not advise apply to someone else while you're told to do so. After all, at the moment it is turned for help to you. If your "football" interlocutor simply offended and decide that you do not want to him to help him solve the problem.
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